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February 12 , 2008 Fast Feng Shui Newsletter In
this issue:
Goal Setting and the "Love Potion" Myth I've been fielding a few emails lately about feng shui and relationships, and in doing so have encountered a need to bust what I have come to think of as the "love potion" myth about feng shui. A love potion is a magical elixir that (supposedly) makes the object of your desire fall madly in love with you so you can be together happily every after, just like in the fairy tales. It's an appealing idea, that there exists somewhere a potion -- or the perfect feng shui cure -- that will make someone else feel and behave the way you'd like them to. The problem is that how someone else feels and behaves, while it might have a profound effect on us, is really no one's business but their own. Feng shui is all about arranging our space to best support a happy, healthy, and successful life experience. It's the "happy" part of that definition that seems to trip people up the most. There's an important difference between saying "I'll be happy when my ex comes back to me," and saying "I'll be happy when I am in a committed, mutually supportive romantic relationship with a wonderful (wo)man." The key difference is that the first desire depends on a specific someone else doing what you want them to do (an iffy proposition, at best). The second is wide open to possibility, because it is focused on a positive change in your circumstances, and does not specifically rely on another person significantly altering his or her ways to make you happy, even if your ex is the person you are thinking of. So, when you are defining your goals (Fast Feng Shui Principle #1) for a romantic relationship, you'll want to include some criteria for what you are looking for in a partner and what you want your relationship to be like, without specifying who you want that relationship to be with, even if you have someone specific in mind. Those criteria could be "tall, dark, and handsome" if that's what you're looking for, or "sky-diving enthusiast," or "millionaire media mogul," or whatever is on your wish list for a perfect mate. Personally, I would put "intelligent" and "kind" fairly high up on my list. Fortunately, I am already blessed with a kind and intelligent husband -- whose many other wonderful qualities I will not bore you with here -- so that's a purely theoretical observation intended to remind you not to overlook the basics. The best qualities to get specific about are those that define what you want to experience in a relationship: if you want to be with someone who provides stability, excitement, loyalty, passion, humor, long walks on the beach, or who remembers to take the trash out without being nagged about it, get specific about it. Think in terms of whatever you've had before and would like to enjoy again, plus those qualities that previous relationships have lacked. One way to approach this is to replay in your mind all those "I wish he would (or would not)..." and "if only she were more (or less)..." thoughts and complaints you've had about a past or current partner. Now write down what would be better than that, but leave the person out of it. This applies to romance issues within a relationship as well. Let's say, as an example, that you've been married for some years, and ever since you moved into the new house there's been an increase in petty arguments and tension between you and your spouse. So, when you think about what your goal is for improving the feng shui of your bedroom and relationship areas, you might come up with something like, "I want Ricky and me to be happy together the way we were two years ago." A better approach would be to leave Ricky out the equation, even though he/she is your spouse and the person with whom you want to feel happy again. Compare the "I want Ricky and me to…" goal statement with this one: "I want my marriage to be harmonious and friendly every day." In your mind, "my marriage" is with Ricky, but the statement itself is focused only on what you experience, not on Ricky's behavior or feelings. See the difference? By the way, while I don't want to alarm anyone, I should mention that if you apply feng shui to resolve issues in an existing relationship, one possible outcome is that the issues will be resolved when you break up and find a more compatible partner. I'm not saying that's likely -- after all, as I so often emphasize, your intention is a key factor in feng shui -- but it is a possibility, albeit a remote one. And while that might not sound like a desirable outcome, think about this: if what you really want is a harmonious and happy relationship, finding that is a good thing, right? Even if it turns out to be with someone other than the person you expect. Unfortunately, making a "Ricky" based statement with the idea that you can prevent this kind of unexpected outcome isn't likely to do much other than gum up the works. What I hope you've gotten from this is that: If you've set some feng shui goals -- whether for romance or something else like getting a raise or selling your house -- that depend on a specific someone else for success, I hope you will take some time to rethink them in broader terms. New subscribers who are just getting started with feng shui might also be interested in my article, "The Vending Machine Fallacy," in the March 27, 2006 issue. And if you'd like something specific you can do for your love life as we head into Valentine's Day, there's a fun ceremony (no love potions involved) that you can do in the February 12 , 2005 issue in the archives. Wishing you all a romantic Valentine's Day, Stephanie
Featured Resources This unique combination of creative feng shui advice and personal empowerment strategies targets the specific challenges you face in each phase of the Relationship Cycle. As you follow these fun, easy guidelines, you'll quickly transform your heart and your home into environments that attract and nurture romance, and discover for yourself how the magic of feng shui can help you go from being alone to being in love! More
Here are some popular Chinese Feng Shui romance items to help ground your intentions. From our online partner, Dragon-Gate.com. Includes Love Tassels & Amulets, Mandarin Ducks, Rose Quartz, etc. More
Feng
Shui Q+A [Q+A Policy: I welcome questions by email, and am happy to clarify the basic principles of contemporary feng shui. Please note, however, that I do not review floor plans, comment on photos, or provide personalized advice based on kua numbers or compass directions. Q+A is not a substitute for a consultation or for learning the basics on your own.] Q: "My bedroom, with en suite bathroom, is in the water area of my house [kan gua/career is associated with the water element - SR]. I thought in order to enhance the water element I would add a fish bowl with one fish to move the water. Would that be a good addition to that area?" A: A fish bowl is a fine support for the water element, and a live fish does add motion to the cure. However, just because your bedroom is in the area associated with water, that doesn't necessarily mean you need to add more water to that room. In fact, it's generally a good idea to protect the bedroom from excessive water chi. With an en suite bathroom already in that area, you probably are more in need of ways to control the water element than encourage it. Also keep in mind the symbolism of a single fish in the bedroom (or in the "relationship" area anywhere in your home). If you are married or in a serious relationship - or would like to be - a pair of fish would be more appropriate. Q: "I am working on a home redesign and am hoping you can advise me on what to do about a ceiling fan over the clients' bed. I've heard that this is not good energy for the bedroom, and that we should put a small red dot on each of the blades. Is that correct?" A: Ceiling fans are considered a source of "cutting" chi. When the fan is turned on, the spinning blades can send sha chi (harmful energy) onto whatever is beneath it. However, whether this is a serious problem or not depends in part on the height of the bedroom ceiling and the distance from the fan to the bed, as well as on how often the fan will actually be in use. A low fan that is used frequently will be more of a problem than a fan quite high overhead that is rarely in motion. Placing a red dot on each of the fan blades is one common remedy; red is the color most associated with power and protection in feng shui. Another option is to use colored dots that represent the five elements (white, black, green, red, and yellow) or the "six true words" (white, red, yellow, green, blue, black). For either of those options, you'll want to make sure the colors are in the correct sequence and that they are placed to spin in the appropriate direction when the fan is turned on. The nice thing about any of these methods - for those who prefer a more subtle approach to feng shui - is that the dots can go on the top (ceiling side) of the blades where they are not visible to anyone in the room. Another more visible remedy for a ceiling fan is to hang a faceted crystal ball beneath it to disperse the sha chi. For a bedroom fan, you can use a pink crystal to support romance.
Wishing you the best,
Miscellaneous Newsletter Archives If you missed our previous issues, you can find them here. ••• We also invite you to visit our sister sites: All About Prosperity - Develop your Prosperity Consciousness and Wealth Building skills. We have articles and resources on creative visualization, emotional intelligence, releasing blocks, and more. Amazon Herbs - 3 Reason why Amazon herbs are unique: Pure Source, Spagyric Processing that retains life force, and Doctor-Proven. Save your health while helping save the Rainforest. QLink EMF Protection - Electropollution is a growing health concern all over the world. Learn how to protect yourself, your home and office environment with the Q-Link products. Stem Cell Enhancer - Boost your own circulating adult stem cells by up to 30% per single dose with StemEnhance, the world's first natural stem cell enhancer. Adult stem cells constitute your body's own natural renewal system. Watch videos and find out more. BioPro Cell Phone Radiation Safeguard - Patented noise-field technology reduces the harmful effects of radiation from cell phones, PDAs, Bluetooth, and other devices.
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2008 Stephanie Roberts. All rights reserved.
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