Fast Feng Shui Blog
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August 09, 2008
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Feng Shui for Other People |
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Q: Is there a cure that a person can apply to their space that will counteract or prevent negative energy of others (including relatives) who refuse to clear their clutter – clutter that is keeping a person trapped, sick and and losing their rightful good opportunities? I've been studying feng shui for a few years now and have yet to find a way to counteract people in my immediate area. Thank you for an information you can give me that will get "other people" moving and caring about good energy for everyone.
PS: I've enjoyed reading Fast Feng Shui because it is well written, with a user friendly format. It's very well organized and a pleasure to use.
A: I’m glad to hear you are enjoying and learning from my book. In response to your question, the bottom line is that you can only work on yourself and lead by example. I expect that's not the info you were hoping for, but that's the way it is. And it’s why I don’t include “how to feng shui other people” in my books.
My advice is to stop focusing so much on "other people's clutter and toxic thinking" and how you feel it's dragging you down (easier said than done, I realize!). Principle #1 is to get clear about what you want, not to get really, really clear about what you don’t want to have going on around you. That means taking your focus off of what other people are doing (or not doing) that’s bugging you, and focusing instead on the better experience you would like to have.
I don’t want to come across as unsympathetic, but “blaming and complaining” are usually not productive, and they keep you in a victimized frame of mind, which is even worse. When you focus on what others are doing “wrong,” you agree to allow it that behavior to affect you. Choose to do the best you can with your own stuff and those spaces that you can control, and keep your attention on the positive changes you make and experience.
As annoying and frustrating as other's habits/attitudes/clutter/disregard may be, you do have control over how you feel about them. Feng shui relies on your intention, which means what you are thinking about affects your experience. So allowing yourself to be annoyed and frustrated about an issue is counterproductive from a feng shui perspective.
You can dislike and disapprove of a situation or of someone else’s behavior (or inaction) without allowing yourself to get angry or sick about it. Each time you feel frustrated because others around you are not getting with the program, recognize that feeling frustrated or victimized is keeping you from experiencing a better reality. Choose to let go of those feelings (no matter how justified they may feel!), and find something positive to focus on instead. Keeping a positive attitude is a very important aspect of feng shui: the visualization and affirmation methods in the book are designed to help with that.
It's easy to fall into the habit of just seeing what others are doing wrong. I advise the participants in my clutter program to recognize that nagging others to do what you want them to do is rarely effective. Instead, make a conscious effort to find even the teeniest little things they do right, and focus on those. Many of my clutter students have told me that when they focused on those areas under their control, kept a positive attitude, and openly shared how good clearing their own clutter felt, that others in their family started to deal with their clutter, too. That’s what I mean by “leading by example.”
You can’t make someone else care about “good energy.” But you can do everything in your power to maintain “good energy” yourself. When your mood is better, the energy in your home will feel better. When the energy in your home feels better, the people around you will be more likely to change behaviors on their own. I’ve mentioned this before, and it’s worth repeating here: feng shui works as much from the inside out as it does from the outside in. Your attitude and expectations are among the most powerful influences on the “chi” of your space. The more you notice positive improvements around you (even if some days you feel you have to look for them with a microscope), the more positive improvements you will see.
Hope this helps,
Stephanie R.
Q+A POLICY
The purpose of this Q+A service is to clarify modern feng shui principles and remedies, and to help you make sense of contradictory teachings you’re likely to come across. If you are new to this blog, please read the Q+A Guidelines (see sidebar on left) before sending me a question. Do expect that I will edit your message for clarity and focus, and that it may be several days (or longer) before I post a reply. Keep in mind, too, that you’re getting my personal opinion on the topic. If you ask someone else, you might get a different answer.Labels: Feng Shui Q+A, other people's stuff
posted by Stephanie R. #
8/09/2008 09:43:00 AM
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