Fast Feng Shui Blog: August 2008

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Welcome to the Fast Feng Shui blog. If you are new to this blog or to feng shui, please start by reading the Q+A Guidelines (see sidebar on left) for an overview of my feng shui philosophy and style. If you would like to receive a monthly email update of new information posted here and elsewhere on this site, please subscribe to the FFS newsletter.

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August 29, 2008

Goldfish

Q: We have an aquarium on the south wall of the livingroom. We had five fish: 4 gold and 1 black. One of the fish got an infection and died. Now the other fish seem to be sick, too. I was wondering what could that mean since it was a sudden sickness while the water conditions was excellent. Another thing is that the black fish is turning gold. I was told that it happens due to the water temperature being a bit higher then normal. Is the black moor still considered to be black?

A: I can't address why the fish are getting sick, as I'm not a fish expert, but certainly water condition is only one factor to a healthy fish tank. From a feng shui perspective if a fish (or several) sicken and die you should replace them as quickly as possible -- while of course correcting whatever may have contributed to poor health. Some would say that the fish that died had absorbed a lot of sha chi of some kind, so you should be grateful to them for that service.

The color of the fish is whatever color you see. If a fish changes from black to gold, it's gold now. But if that color change happens because the water is too warm, then maybe the water condition isn’t as ‘excellent’ as you think. I don’t know much about fish, but I’d think water temperature is important.

There are many different answers to the "how many fish of what color" question, depending on what style of feng shui you are practicing and who you ask. Since you asked me, I'll give you my answer, which is that "8 gold + 1 black" is the best combination.

You mentioned the “south” wall: if you’re following the compass directions, south (associated with fire) is not a good place for the fish tank, which is a water feature. Perhaps you could find a better location for it, it an area where so much water is a compatible element.

Hope your new fish stay healthy,
Stephanie

Labels: elements, Feng Shui Q+A

posted by Stephanie R. # 8/29/2008 11:59:00 AM

Mirror facing the bed

Q: I'm new at Feng Shui, and don’t know what to do about my bedroom. The mirror is on my dresser, facing the foot of my bed. There’s really no other way to arrange the furniture in this space, so what kind of cure can I do to make this a better Feng Shui bedroom?

A: If you are concerned about the mirror, all you have to do is drape a pretty shawl or scarf over it at night, so the mirror is covered while you are sleeping. That will solve the problem.

Stephanie

Labels: bedroom, Feng Shui Q+A, mirrors

posted by Stephanie R. # 8/29/2008 11:56:00 AM

Stairs in the "Money Corner"

Q: The stairs in my condo are in the Money corner. Is that a problem? If so, what can I do about it?

A: Stairs are not necessarily a problem. You may have heard that the bottom of a staircase very close to the front door can cause money to “run out of the house,” but that’s one very specific situation, and does not mean that all stairs in any location are an issue.

However, because stairs are where we go up and down in our homes, a stair in hsun gua might indicate “ups and downs” in your financial experience. But unless that’s really extreme I wouldn’t see it as a big problem: some ebb and flow in the money arena is natural.

Also keep in mind that there’s a “money corner” for each room in the condo as well. If you want to place prosperity imagery/objects somewhere, use hsun gua of your bedroom, living room, or kitchen rather than the stairs. I think stairs have a “neither here nor there” kind of energy to them: they’re between “upstairs” and “downstairs’ and the time we spend on them is always temporary and transitional, so choose a spot with more stable "chi" for that wealth vase or your prosperity collage.

Stephanie

Q+A POLICY
The purpose of this Q+A service is to clarify modern feng shui principles and remedies, and to help you make sense of contradictory teachings you’re likely to come across. If you are new to this blog, please read the Q+A Guidelines (see sidebar on left). If you send me a question, do expect that I will edit your message for clarity and focus, and that it may be several days (or longer) before I post a reply. Keep in mind, too, that you’re getting my personal opinion on the topic. If you ask someone else, you might get a different answer.

Labels: Feng Shui Q+A, prosperity, stairs

posted by Stephanie R. # 8/29/2008 11:50:00 AM

August 21, 2008

Temporary Lodgings

Q: My friend moved out of her house after breaking up with her boyfriend. She is a real estate agent and business has been very slow. She has a part time job for money for food, car payment and cell phone, but she really needs some real estate to take off to be able to build up enough cash to get into an apartment. She has been staying with different friends because she has no place of her own. How can she chi up her career sector?

A: I’m sorry to hear your friend is dealing with challenging circumstances. How fortunate that she has some income and friends who are sheltering her. The bottom line, though, is that if she is moving around among a series of temporary borrowed lodgings, then she does not have a career sector to "chi up." I recommend she focus on shifting her own energy, rather than the energy of her borrowed space. Start here.

Wishing you both great future success,
Stephanie R.

Labels: Feng Shui Q+A

posted by Stephanie R. # 8/21/2008 11:00:00 AM

House Lower than Road

Q: I'm building a new house but am very distressed that the front of the house is
much lower than the road. Is there any feng shui remedy that you can suggest?

A: The problem with a house below road level is that (supposedly) it can be more difficult for you to get out into the world to pursue that fame/fortune/success we all desire. It's easy to see the logic behind this theory: after all, you are starting the day with an uphill climb. However, you could also choose to see that you start each day by "moving on up" rather than "going downhill," which is a much less distressing interpretation.

Whichever way you choose to see it, the recommended feng shui remedy for a house below road grade is to “lift” the chi of the house in some way. Some suggestions for how to do this are a little odd, such as affixing a fan blade to the roof ridge on a spindle so it turns in any breeze (be sure the blades are positioned to lift air as they turn, not press it down). You can also position spotlights to shine on the roof of the house at night. These may be clever solutions, but are they something you want to live with? That’s an important question! If you don't like how a remedy looks or feels, it is not the right choice for you.

Anyway, you get the idea: things that have an uplifting quality are good. Personally, if it were my house, I’d go with something more subtle, such as:
~ Installing a light fixture at the end of the front path/steps/driveway up at the road level, with the intention that it connect you with the road/world.
~ Installing a flag or banner beside the front door, as high as is practical

It would be a good idea also to make sure that your house number (on your mailbox, or on a pillar at the end of the driveway, for example) is prominently displayed at the road level as well.

Keep in mind that very few homes have perfect or even outstanding feng shui. Instead of focusing on potential problems and allowing them to distress you, do what you can about them without worrying too much, and focus more on your appreciation of all the wonderful features of your home that you are so happy with.

If your home is on a slope (thus the “below the road” problem), perhaps you have a spectacular view out the other way. That’s wonderful feng shui! It’s also likely that the “front” of your house is not the “facing” direction (which would be the view side, not the hill side). I explain the difference between “front” and “facing” in the Q+A section of the July 20, 2006 newsletter, which you can read here.

Wishing you great success and happiness in your new home,
Stephanie R.

Q+A POLICY
The purpose of this Q+A service is to clarify modern feng shui principles and
remedies, and to help you make sense of contradictory teachings you’re likely to
come across. If you are new to this blog, please read the Q+A Guidelines (see
sidebar on left) before sending me a question. Do expect that I will edit your
message for clarity and focus, and that it may be several days (or longer) before I
post a reply. Keep in mind, too, that you’re getting my personal opinion on the
topic. If you ask someone else, you might get a different answer.

Labels: Feng Shui Q+A, house position

posted by Stephanie R. # 8/21/2008 10:11:00 AM

August 14, 2008

What color gutters to choose

Q: I will be getting new gutters in the next few months and I am very attracted to one that is pre-painted an olive green color. The current gutters are white, but for some reason that seems dull and does not appeal to me. Also they show dirt and mold a lot. However, with the productive cycle, the yellow house, white gutters, gray roof seems to correspond. Do you think the green gutters are an okay choice, or should I stick with white?

A: It’s really not necessary to coordinate every feature of your home with the element cycles. The productive cycle is not so much a goal in itself as it is a tool for making adjustments to a situation where imbalance in the elements is causing a problem. Sure, it's nice if the colors of your home are in harmonious relationship, but that does not make the productive cycle the overriding factor in your choices.

Far more important is that your gutters be in good condition (which they will be when you install the new ones), and that what you see when you look at your home makes you happy. So if you are very attracted to the olive green ones, then go with those. Why compromise with another color you won’t like as much? Each time you notice the gutters you’ll wish you’d gone with the green ones, and that’s not good feng shui at all.

If you feel there is a significant imbalance in the element representation in the exterior of your home -- and that it is affecting you in a negative way -- then you can use landscaping and accents to introduce the desired balancing element(s) in a subtle way. There's no need to overthink it, or to make choices that won't please you.

Hope this helps,
Stephanie R.

Q+A POLICY
The purpose of this Q+A service is to clarify modern feng shui principles and remedies, and to help you make sense of contradictory teachings you’re likely to come across. If you are new to this blog, please read the Q+A Guidelines (see sidebar on left) before sending me a question. Do expect that I will edit your message for clarity and focus, and that it may be several days (or longer) before I post a reply. Keep in mind, too, that you’re getting my personal opinion on the topic. If you ask someone else, you might get a different answer.

Labels: elements, Feng Shui Q+A

posted by Stephanie R. # 8/14/2008 09:58:00 AM

It Doesn't Feel Like "Home"

Q: Dear Stephanie, I have written to you before with a question and your advice was helpful to me. I am now in another situation for which I would like your help. Last year my husband and I purchased our first home. The area is quiet and residential, and the house is cozy. The price was affordable and we were eager to move out of my parents’ overcrowded house.

But we didn't take location into account. This house is far from my daughter's school, my parents' house, our church, hospitals, etc., and friends and family don't visit very often because of the distance. Since moving in last July, I have found myself struggling to feel "at home." I've re-painted, re-decorated and de-cluttered but nothing has worked.

We know the area we would like to be in, but cannot afford to buy there at this time. With another baby on the way I am feeling even more anxious because I will now have a baby to commute with while driving my daughter to school in September.

How can I start making the house feel more my "home" so I can settle into it and start raising my family? I don't want to be here permanently, so how do I focus my energies and intentions on obtaining a home in the area we do want while living more at ease in the existing one?

A: How wonderful that you were able to move out of your parents’ crowded house and purchase a home of your own in a nice neighborhood. I wish you also great joy with your growing family.

I suspect the reason you are feeling such difficulty about this house is that you are hoping external changes will help with an internal problem: you wish to be somewhere else. Until you can make some peace with that, you will probably continue to feel “not at home” no matter how much feng shui you do.

I get the impression that you believe that allowing yourself to feel at home in your current place will keep you from moving toward something better. So you’re holding back instead of settling in, because you’re afraid of being stuck with what you don’t want.

But that’s not true at all. Continuing to feel dissatisfied and unhappy with your current situation will only make it harder for you to move from that place to something better. And it will increase the likelihood that you will not feel satisfied with your next home, either, even if it’s in the neighborhood you want to live in.

Instead of seeing “feel at home here” and “move on to there” as contradictory impulses, recognize that allowing yourself to “feel at home here” will set you up to “move on to there” more quickly and easily – and with more satisfying results -- when the time is right.

You can't change the fact that your current home is too far from the things you'd like to be closer to. But you can choose where you put your attention, and how much you allow the home's drawbacks affect your mood and attitude on a daily basis.

Here’s what I would do if I were you:

1) Make a list of everything you don’t like about where you are living now. Include features and location of the house and how you feel about it (i.e., "it's too far from town", “we made a rushed decision,” “I regret moving here”). Get all of that icky stuff out onto the piece of paper. Use as many sheets of paper as you need to get it all down.

2) On a fresh sheet of paper, use this next format to focus on what you do like about where you are living now:
“Even though this house …,” [something from your ‘don’t like’ list here]
“I really appreciate ….” [something you do like about your house].
For example:
~ “Even though this house is too far from town, I really appreciate having a place of our own.”
~ “Even though this isn’t our dream location, I really appreciate this quiet, safe neighborhood.”
~ “Even though this house was not the ideal choice for us, I really appreciate having a mortgage that we can afford.”

You get the idea. Come up with something positive about your house for every single item on your ‘don’t like’ list. Small things are fine. Maybe you like the light fixture in the dining room, or there’s good water pressure for taking showers. You don't have to match each item on the left with a "similar" item on the right, just think up something to put there.

Finding affordable housing – or any housing at all – is a huge challenge for many people on our planet, so be grateful for having a roof over your head! There’s nothing wrong with wanting more or better, so long as you don’t allow that to keep you from recognizing the blessings you already enjoy.

3) Now create a WISH LIST for your next home:
Use the results of steps 1 & 2 to make a list of all the features and experiences you would like from your next home:
“Wouldn’t it be great if our next house…?”
~ "...is in [desired] neighborhood"
~ "...immediately feels like home"
~ "...is so perfect for us that we are happy to stay there a long time"
~ "...is a place where friends and family love to visit with us"
~ "...is convenient to our church and schools"
etc.

Now that you’ve gotten really clear on what you appreciate about where you are, and what will be even better in your next place -- and what kind of a timeframe you would like to move in if you're ready to decide that -- you may want to create a scrapbook that illustrates the home you want to move on to.

Keep in mind that feng shui is just one of many tools available for improving our life experience. That doesn’t mean that feng shui is always the best approach to a particular issue or situation. I reply to quite a few questions by recommending some study of the principles of deliberate creation/law of attraction. You can read more about why I see that as an important complement to feng shui here.

Hope this helps to shift your feelings about your home in a more positive direction,
Stephanie

Q+A POLICY
The purpose of this Q+A service is to clarify modern feng shui principles and remedies, and to help you make sense of contradictory teachings you’re likely to come across. If you are new to this blog, please read the Q+A Guidelines (see sidebar on left) before sending me a question. Do expect that I will edit your message for clarity and focus, and that it may be several days (or longer) before I post a reply. Keep in mind, too, that you’re getting my personal opinion on the topic. If you ask someone else, you might get a different answer.

Labels: Feng Shui Q+A, new home

posted by Stephanie R. # 8/14/2008 08:54:00 AM

August 13, 2008

Mobile Home Ba Gua

Q: I cannot figure out how to use the ba gua grid for my mobile home. It is 14x60 feet. When I enter, there is only about 8 feet to the right (the kitchen) and 50 feet to the left (everything else) and the whole place is just 14 feet wide, so it is very oblong. Also there are no appropriate walls for the bed.

A: The ba gua shrinks or stretches to accommodate the dimensions of your home. When your home is a long, shallow oblong, you have a long, shallow ba gua:

If your entry is on the right (as shown above), it’s in chien gua, the Travel & Helpful Friends area.

Many spaces do not offer an “ideal” feng shui placement for the bed or other key furniture. If that’s the case, then you do the best you can with the space you’ve got. Evaluate what’s not so good about the bed position, then use feng shui remedies to lessen the impact of those features.

Hope this helps,

Stephanie

Q+A POLICY

The purpose of this Q+A service is to clarify modern feng shui principles and remedies, and to help you make sense of contradictory teachings you’re likely to come across. If you are new to this blog, please read the Q+A Guidelines (see sidebar on left) before sending me a question. Do expect that I will edit your message for clarity and focus, and that it may be several days (or longer) before I post a reply. Keep in mind, too, that you’re getting my personal opinion on the topic. If you ask someone else, you might get a different answer.

Labels: ba gua, Feng Shui Q+A

posted by Stephanie R. # 8/13/2008 12:34:00 PM

Feng Shui for Other People - Part III

FENG SHUI FOR A FRACTURED FAMILY

Q: After all common sense approaches have been made, including prayer, can feng shui assist in restoring a biological family that has been broken by divorce, geography, and dissension?

A : There are so many factors involved in a “broken” family situation that I can’t say to what degree feng shui might or might not help. Keep in mind that you can only apply feng shui to your own space and your own experience, and in this case there are other people and locations involved.

Keep in mind also that “restoring” the family may not be a realistic – or the best – expectation, no matter how much you want it at this time. Frankly, if “all common sense approaches” (and prayer!) have been tried, then I have to suggest that perhaps what you are trying for is not the best outcome for everyone involved. I believe that the best outcome comes easily, although not necessarily quickly, and often not until we’ve repeatedly banged our heads trying to achieve what we think we want. I suggest aiming for improved, more respectful and congenial relationships and communication among the family, without insisting that you all get back together.

What you can do is explore your home giving special attention to the Family and Relationship areas. (If you don’t know where those are, click here.) Generally we think of the Relationship area as being specifically for romance and marriage, but it also governs business partnerships and, in your case, I think it would be wise to consider it as impacting family relationships as well. Also look around the “family room,” if you have a space in your home that you refer to in that way, regardless of where in the ba gua it is located.

If I were coming in to your home as a consultant, and you described a fractured family as the problem, I would look for visual clues. I can’t give you a checklist of what to look for, because if you examined a dozen homes where someone complained of the same problem, you might find a dozen different and unique contributing factors. I would “know it when I see it,” but would not be able to tell you in advance what it would be.

That said, where families are involved, I believe that group and individual photographs can be very significant. I would recommend removing from your Family or Relationship areas any pictures that show the various members of your family separated in some way. For example: You might have a grouping of photographs of your family on display, but each photo only shows only one or two family members, and you have no picture of the family all together.

Or, let’s say you have a framed snapshot in the family room from a summer holiday several years ago. The photo shows your spouse and child in a boat on the lake, heading out to go fishing, with you in the background, waving to them from shore. When you look at this photo, you remember what a great summer that was and how much fun you had together. As a feng shui consultant, however, I would look at the same snapshot and see that it shows two members of the family moving way from the other, who is left behind. So, that’s the kind of visual imagery you can be alert to as you explore your home.

(Everyone else who is reading this, please don’t freak out and run off to pillage your photo albums and scrapbooks to remove every image that might possibly be interpreted as less than ideal. Remember: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!” Scrutinizing every specific detail and image in your home for possible negative impact – even though you aren’t experiencing problems in that area -- is a good way to drive yourself nuts. Focus your energy on existing difficult situations that specifically need improvement, and let the rest be, at least for now.)

Because there are likely to be only very limited changes you can make on the mundane level, you might want to take a more “transcendental” approach to the situation.

Here’s a “cure” for improving relationships in a fractured family that you might want to try. I made it up, just now, just for you:

You will need:

~ A paper map of whatever area encompasses the locations of the various family members that you would like to reunite (I mean reunite in easier and more harmonious relationship with each other, not necessarily reunite as a family unit). For example, if you all live in the same city, get a map of your city. If you live spread out across several states, get a map of the region that includes those states. Perhaps you need a map of your entire country, or even of the world. Scale is not important, but don’t go too small: around 18”x24” would be a good size. You can trim the map to show just the area that covers all the family locations, if you like.
~ A cork board large enough to back the map.
~ Pushpins
~ Some heavyweight red thread (“coat and button” weight) or lightweight red string.
~ A picture of each person (face is fine, doesn’t need to show whole body), including you. If at all possible, use pictures that show each person smiling.
~ A small piece of blank paper, such as a 3”x5” index card
~ A pen

Okay, here’s what you do:

1) Pin the map to the corkboard, then pin each family member’s photo to their location. Use the red string to connect your pushpin to the pin of each scattered family member you would like a better relationship with.

2) Write an affirmation that starts with the words, “I am so happy and grateful now that…” [“our family is getting along so well”; “I am back in touch with my sister and we’re enjoying our conversations again”; “I am able to discuss childcare issues with my ex without anger and arguments”] or whatever is suitable to your situation.

Make sure that whatever you write allows each individual freedom to be on his or her unique path. In other words, it’s fine to affirm that you and your ex are getting along better now, but it’s not appropriate to affirm that you are back together again, because that’s trying to control the other person’s path. (For more on this topic, see this article on the archives page.)

3) When you are happy with your affirmation, copy it onto one side of the index card/paper. Write all of the family names (including yours) on the other side. Pin this (affirmation side out) to the map somewhere, such at the center top or bottom. BTW: although you could easily print this from your computer I recommend writing it out by hand, even if your handwriting is awful, so it has more of your personal energy in it.

4) Hang your corkboard/map in the family area of your home, living room, or bedroom. Every day, spend a few minutes looking at it while you visualize the desired better relationship as though it is already happening. If you aren’t smiling while you do this, you aren’t imagining a good outcome specifically enough. Do not focus on everything that’s wrong between you! Visualize the improvement you desire, then take a moment to express your gratitude for this good outcome.

As an alternative, if you don’t want to deal with a large corkboard or have your map on public display, you could use a map that will fit on the inside of a standard manila file folder. Glue the map inside of the folder, glue the photos to the map, then draw connecting lines with a red pen or marker. Personally, I like the corkboard and string version better, but the file folder version is more discrete and is also portable.

That’s my idea for what you could do; you might come up with something even better, or that is more appropriate to your specific family situation. The objects and images in your personal ritual are much less important than the emotions, thoughts, and intentions with which you approach it.

Wishing you great success with this,
Stephanie

Q+A POLICY
The purpose of this Q+A service is to clarify modern feng shui principles and remedies, and to help you make sense of contradictory teachings you’re likely to come across. If you are new to this blog, please read the Q+A Guidelines (see sidebar on left) before sending me a question. Do expect that I will edit your message for clarity and focus, and that it may be several days (or longer) before I post a reply. Keep in mind, too, that you’re getting my personal opinion on the topic. If you ask someone else, you might get a different answer.

Labels: family, Feng Shui Q+A

posted by Stephanie R. # 8/13/2008 12:07:00 PM

Feng Shui for Other People - Part II

Q: Hi Stephanie, I am reading Fast Feng Shui and your Prosperity book right now. I would like to know if it is possible do feng shui for my husband? He has some career and time management issues which greatly need help. If it is possible then how does one go about doing feng shui for someone else? I understand that a vital, if not the most important part of this kind of feng shui is the power of intention where you visualize the result and physically feel the positive feelings of the result in order for the desired outcome to come to pass. If that is true, how do I feel the feelings for my husband?
Thank you for writing such great books and being there for us!

A: It’s my pleasure to be here…
The bottom line answer about assisting your husband is that you really can't visualize or feel on behalf of someone else. You can only "feng shui" your own experience (see previous post for more on that topic). But that doesn't mean there is nothing you can do to affect the situation.

Because you mentioned time management, it would be a good idea also to make sure that all of the clocks in your home are turned on or plugged in, and that they are “aligned” to the correct and same time. Check to see that calendars and agenda books (if you use them) are all turned to the current month/week/daily page. Are there lots of outdated newspapers and magazines around your home? If so, getting rid of them may help with a lax time focus. These would be good steps for your husband to take in his workspace as well, especially if he is in agreement with you that time management is an issue for him.

What most interests me about your question is that it implies a lack of participation on your husband’s part. After all, if he were exploring feng shui with you, you’d have written to ask about what he could do, not what you might do for him.

This situation, where one person in a household is “into” feng shui and others are at best indifferent, is unique to our modern culture. In a traditional Chinese household of several (or many) centuries ago, a feng shui master would be invited to advise the entire family, who would all follow the recommendations. So the fact that you're reading and using my books, but (I’m assuming from your message) applying them on your own, is a disconnect with the way feng shui is best approached. Ideally the you and your husband should be doing this together, although in the real world it may not work out that way.

Rather than taking all of this on yourself, look for ways to gain your husband's cooperation or support. That could be as simple as talking to him about why you are interested in feng shui, and getting his agreement to support you in the changes you'd like to make in the home. Eventually, he might be open to explore potential feng shui improvements to his office or workspace, which is part of the career picture you mentioned.

The Prosperity book, especially, addresses some of the inner issues that most of us have to delve into if we want to change our relationship to money. So you might talk with him about what you've discovered about your own money beliefs and financial patterns, which might get him thinking about himself in those terms. Obviously, I don't know anything about the dynamics of your marriage, so what/how you discuss all this with him is something you'll have to work out.
There are two ways you may be able to use feng shui to help with this underlying issue:

1) Explore the relationship and communication areas of your home and especially in your bedroom. Be alert for areas of clutter, or groupings or arrangements of items/objects that might imply that the two of you are not fully in alignment.

This could be almost anything, so it’s difficult for me to tell you specifically what to look for. For example, maybe you have “his” and “her” sides of the closet, but the two closet doors don’t line up – maybe one closes all the way and the other doesn’t, or maybe they both close, but one hangs lower than the other so the knobs are at different levels. And you probably either don’t notice it, or don’t think it’s important. But to a feng shui consultant it’s two things that should be meeting in the middle, where that’s not happening. And if it’s in your bedroom, and you’ve mentioned that you and your husband are “of two minds” about something, or “don’t see eye to eye” on an issue, it would appear relevant. So look around with feng shui eyes and see what catches your attention. Very likely it will have nothing to do with your closets, and won't be anything you'll find mentioned in a book, but I hope that example gave you an idea what I mean.

2) Use the visualization techniques with the intention that your husband will become more open to feng shui, listen to what you have to say about it, or perhaps pick up the Prosperity book and get interested himself.

Rather than focusing on "fixing" what you see as your husband's time and career management issues, reframe those in terms of your experience. How would your daily life change if he hade the improvements you wish to see?
~ Perhaps he'd have more free time to do things with you on the weekend: visualize yourself enjoying that time together.
~ Maybe his mood would improve: visualize your experience of spending time with him when he's less tired and crabby.

Use an affirmation like: "I'm so happy and grateful for these improvements in our marriage" -- even if those improvements are what you'd like to experience as a result of changes in how he handles his job responsibilities.

If he's the main wager-earner in the family, you may feel that you have to feng shui his career in order for greater abundance to come in. But that's not really true. Place your prosperity remedies and imagery with the intention that you experience the results of his getting a raise, or a better job, or whatever.

Make sure you stay alert to any way or instance in which he does manage his time adequately, and any improvements in those career issues you mentioned. It’s very easy to get into the habit of only noticing what we don’t like about someone else’s ways. If you wish to experience an improvement, you have to watch for it, notice it when it happens – even to the smallest degree – and appreciate that.

It's kind of a round-about approach, but it is really the only effective strategy when someone else is involved. Trying to feng shui him, instead of you, isn't likely to accomplish much.

Hope this helps,
Stephanie R.

Q+A POLICY
The purpose of this Q+A service is to clarify modern feng shui principles and remedies, and to help you make sense of contradictory teachings you’re likely to come across. If you are new to this blog, please read the Q+A Guidelines (see sidebar on left) before sending me a question. Do expect that I will edit your message for clarity and focus, and that it may be several days (or longer) before I post a reply. Keep in mind, too, that you’re getting my personal opinion on the topic. If you ask someone else, you might get a different answer.

Labels: Feng Shui Q+A

posted by Stephanie R. # 8/13/2008 11:57:00 AM

August 09, 2008

Feng Shui for Other People

Q: Is there a cure that a person can apply to their space that will counteract or prevent negative energy of others (including relatives) who refuse to clear their clutter – clutter that is keeping a person trapped, sick and and losing their rightful good opportunities? I've been studying feng shui for a few years now and have yet to find a way to counteract people in my immediate area. Thank you for an information you can give me that will get "other people" moving and caring about good energy for everyone.
PS: I've enjoyed reading Fast Feng Shui because it is well written, with a user friendly format. It's very well organized and a pleasure to use.

A: I’m glad to hear you are enjoying and learning from my book. In response to your question, the bottom line is that you can only work on yourself and lead by example. I expect that's not the info you were hoping for, but that's the way it is. And it’s why I don’t include “how to feng shui other people” in my books.

My advice is to stop focusing so much on "other people's clutter and toxic thinking" and how you feel it's dragging you down (easier said than done, I realize!). Principle #1 is to get clear about what you want, not to get really, really clear about what you don’t want to have going on around you. That means taking your focus off of what other people are doing (or not doing) that’s bugging you, and focusing instead on the better experience you would like to have.

I don’t want to come across as unsympathetic, but “blaming and complaining” are usually not productive, and they keep you in a victimized frame of mind, which is even worse. When you focus on what others are doing “wrong,” you agree to allow it that behavior to affect you. Choose to do the best you can with your own stuff and those spaces that you can control, and keep your attention on the positive changes you make and experience.

As annoying and frustrating as other's habits/attitudes/clutter/disregard may be, you do have control over how you feel about them. Feng shui relies on your intention, which means what you are thinking about affects your experience. So allowing yourself to be annoyed and frustrated about an issue is counterproductive from a feng shui perspective.

You can dislike and disapprove of a situation or of someone else’s behavior (or inaction) without allowing yourself to get angry or sick about it. Each time you feel frustrated because others around you are not getting with the program, recognize that feeling frustrated or victimized is keeping you from experiencing a better reality. Choose to let go of those feelings (no matter how justified they may feel!), and find something positive to focus on instead. Keeping a positive attitude is a very important aspect of feng shui: the visualization and affirmation methods in the book are designed to help with that.

It's easy to fall into the habit of just seeing what others are doing wrong. I advise the participants in my clutter program to recognize that nagging others to do what you want them to do is rarely effective. Instead, make a conscious effort to find even the teeniest little things they do right, and focus on those. Many of my clutter students have told me that when they focused on those areas under their control, kept a positive attitude, and openly shared how good clearing their own clutter felt, that others in their family started to deal with their clutter, too. That’s what I mean by “leading by example.”

You can’t make someone else care about “good energy.” But you can do everything in your power to maintain “good energy” yourself. When your mood is better, the energy in your home will feel better. When the energy in your home feels better, the people around you will be more likely to change behaviors on their own. I’ve mentioned this before, and it’s worth repeating here: feng shui works as much from the inside out as it does from the outside in. Your attitude and expectations are among the most powerful influences on the “chi” of your space. The more you notice positive improvements around you (even if some days you feel you have to look for them with a microscope), the more positive improvements you will see.

Hope this helps,
Stephanie R.

Q+A POLICY
The purpose of this Q+A service is to clarify modern feng shui principles and remedies, and to help you make sense of contradictory teachings you’re likely to come across. If you are new to this blog, please read the Q+A Guidelines (see sidebar on left) before sending me a question. Do expect that I will edit your message for clarity and focus, and that it may be several days (or longer) before I post a reply. Keep in mind, too, that you’re getting my personal opinion on the topic. If you ask someone else, you might get a different answer.

Labels: Feng Shui Q+A, other people's stuff

posted by Stephanie R. # 8/09/2008 09:43:00 AM

One Cure at a Time

Q: You advise to do only one cure at a time. I have some very serious health issues and I am focused on that. Can I start a cure for prosperity at the same time?

A: I do think it’s a good idea not to try to apply feng shui to every possible area of your life at once. That just leads to chaos and spreads your attention and energy over many areas, making it difficult to fully focus on the one main thing that deserves your priority attention. And if you are attempting a long-term or complex remedy, such as a 28-day method that requires daily focus and action, then yes, I would recommend keeping your other feng shui strategies simple during that time. When that 28-day period is over, if you feel it’s necessary, you might move on to another remedy or method.

But that’s just a suggestion, and each individual’s needs are situation are unique. Sometimes there’s more than one top priority area to focus one.

Health issues are rarely about just one thing, because anything that adds to our stress level or interferes with getting restful sleep every night can make us more susceptible to illness or make recovery more difficult. So, if financial issues are causing or adding to anxiety and stress, then addressing them through feng shui may also support your improved health in the long run.

How much feng shui you do, how quickly, is really up to you. If you start to feel overwhelmed by it all, that’s a clear sign to slow down and step back. But if a situation is nagging at you and you feel intuitively that you’d like to address it with feng shui, feel free to move ahead, even if you are already feng shui-ing another issue.

BTW: Health issues are often impacted by "sha chi" of various kinds, because sha chi is a stressor that affects your vitality and can undermine the strength and resilience of your immune system. If you think this is something you’d like to explore, you may want to read this article from several years back in my newsletter archives.

One of the most prevalent forms of sha chi these days is electro-magnetic pollution. You can also download a free report on EMF Dangers & Solutions from my husband's website, www.emf-health.com (click on the link in the blue bar at the top of that page).

Wishing you great success with your feng shui, and with best wishes for speedy improvements in your health,
Stephanie

Q+A POLICY
The purpose of this Q+A service is to clarify modern feng shui principles and remedies, and to help you make sense of contradictory teachings you’re likely to come across. If you are new to this blog, please read the Q+A Guidelines (see sidebar on left) before sending me a question. Do expect that I will edit your message for clarity and focus, and that it may be several days (or longer) before I post a reply. Keep in mind, too, that you’re getting my personal opinion on the topic. If you ask someone else, you might get a different answer.

Labels: Feng Shui Q+A

posted by Stephanie R. # 8/09/2008 09:34:00 AM

August 02, 2008

Keep it Simple with WD-40 Remedies

There are many reasons feng shui appeals to so many people. Topping the list, I expect, is our desire to improve some aspect of home or career life that we’ve been struggling with. But another reason feng shui is popular is the fun factor. Feng shui gives us a reason to shop for crystals and wind chimes, recover the couch, paint the bedroom, get new towels for the bath, and put a console table and mirror in the front hall. Even when we don’t go shopping, we enjoy moving our stuff around: let’s put the couch over there, and the TV here, and how ‘bout moving that painting from the dining room into this corner over here? All this rearranging and decorating is even more fun when we feel we’re doing something to nudge our experience in a better direction at the same time.

Sometimes we enjoy the fun factor so much we forget to keep it simple, and we overthink the class of remedies known as "WD-40 cures." (WD-40, for anyone who doesn't know, is an all-purpose lubricant spray useful for around-the-house repair jobs.) Any items on your ‘get to this someday’ list that require the use of a screwdriver, power drill, stepladder, or caulking gun falls into this category of remedies.

When something is broken or only semi-functional, it affects the feng shui of your home. And the feng shui remedy is to fix it. It’s that simple. Basic household repairs may not feel like doing feng shui, but they are. This means that if there’s a loose doorknob in your career area, the remedy is not to cover the door with a collage of your career goals: it’s to fix the doorknob. The cure for a non-working light fixture in your fame area isn’t to load down your coffee table with a dozen red candles to support fire: it’s to repair or replace the light fixture. The cure for a dripping faucet is not to surround the sink with house plants to counteract the extra water chi: it’s to replace the washer (or whatever) so the faucet doesn’t drip any more.

This may seem so obvious that you’re wondering why I’m writing about it. Yet I receive questions like this one more frequently that you’d expect: "My stove is broken and I can’t afford to get it fixed right away. Can you suggest something I could do in the meantime to offset this situation?"

I sympathize with the "can’t afford to get it fixed" issue. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean alternative strategies will handle the problem. For renters, waiting for the landlord to take care of something can be as frustrating as not being in a position to pay for it. I have stove repairs on my mind because we live in a rental house and our landlord recently (finally!) replaced the barely marginally functional stove that we’d been living with -- and resenting -- for over a year. However, whether the issue is that it’s someone else’s responsibility, or insufficient cash flow to take care of it yourself, the bottom line is that the cure for a broken stove is to fix the stove.

Sure, there are lots of other prosperity or cash flow cures/rituals/objects/imagery you might be drawn to. But no matter how many of them you implement, the stove will remain broken. No quantity of other cures will correct that. This doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea to make sure the feng shui of the wealth areas of your home is the best it can be under the circumstances, but fixing the stove still deserves a top spot on the feng shui to-do list.

So the next time something in a key area of your home needs a little "elbow grease," get out your tool box -- or call a repair service, or bug your landlord about it -- and get it fixed. Home repairs and maintenance may not be the most interesting or glamorous aspect of feng shui, but they are among the most simple and effective. Don’t overlook them, and don’t make them more complicated than they need to be.

Labels: article

posted by Stephanie R. # 8/02/2008 10:04:00 AM

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